Coffee Brake: The Last Car You’ll Ever Buy

, 21

-by Kaibeezy.  Kids today have lost the
nuance of a good euphemism. Think of how we used to try to preserve the
dignity of our venerated elders – senior citizens, fogies, grumpies,
cottonheads, coffin dodgers. Nope, now that distinguished silver haired
gentleman or lady is just an “old”.

Some of
them drive cars. Some of them drive old cars. Some of those cars crap
out, often through neglected maintenance. Like anyone else, an old
doesn’t want to be stuck on the side of the road when the wheels fall
off, so when the 98 Accord nearly fails its annual inspection due to a
dangerously rusted chassis, for example, it’s time for a new buggy.

If
the old asks me, which he or she did, I’m in that quandary I was in the
other week re the big truck. Well, first I’m in the quandary of whether
to press the issue of “should you be driving?” They’ll just buy
something anyway, most likely a brand new bottom of the line Accord. So I
may as well make a good recommendation. 

 

They
don’t trust the cars we DTers would prefer. New is best. I can’t in good
faith recommend a new car, even to an old, due to the financial hit
alone. What car?

– a newer used car, probably CPO

– creaky knees need something taller to ease into

And those really are the dispositive criteria. Everything else is icing on the carbuncle.

Small
SUV, right? Honda CRV or Toyota RAV? Honda Element would be something,
but they are out of print and too old for a grumpy old old. Kia Soul?
Scion xB? Nissan Cube? Funny that those are marketed to damn kids, the
olds love them. Too bad Oldsmobile is gone. Ooh, butterfly. (drops mic)