The Paradox of the Scintillatingly Bland: 1999 Chevrolet Monte Carlo LS
When I first saw the cover shot of this next car…I didn’t know what it was. Not exactly, at least. I knew it was a GM 90s front-drive econobox, but like a small pile of earthworm vomit, it is moderately undesirable, but not as nasty as racoon scat. But I still didn’t know what kind of 90s GM product I was looking at until I saw the badge on the back and was surprised to see the legendary Monte Carlo badge. Somewhere between the old G-body Monte Carlo and the NAHSHCARR styling inspired thing released in 2000 there was a Lumina/GrandPrix/Cutlass that was as boring as the line at the DMV…but almost boring enough to be interesting. Find this 1999 Chevrolet Monte Carlo LS offered for $6,150 in Phiadelphia, PA via eBay.
From the seller:
Vehicle Specifics for 1999 Chevrolet Monte Carlo 2dr Coupe LS
You’ve got your eye on a 1999 Chevrolet Monte Carlo 2dr Coupe LS
We’ve got our eye on the Vehicle’s History
AutoCheck found 35 records for this 1999 Chevrolet Monte Carlo 2dr Coupe LS
VIN:2G1WW12M1X9137732 Engine:6 Cylinders
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Condition: Used Year: 1999
VIN (Vehicle Identification Number): 2G1WW12M1X9137732 Mileage: 79540
Interior Color: Tan Make: Chevrolet
Body Type: Coupe Model: Monte Carlo
Number of Cylinders: 6 Sub Model: 2dr Coupe LS
Transmission: Automatic Trim: 2dr Coupe LS
Doors: 2 For Sale By: Dealer
Options: Leather, Compact Disc Safety Features: Driver Side Airbag, Passenger Side Airbag
Warranty: Vehicle does NOT have an existing warranty Power Options: Air Conditioning, Cruise Control, Power Windows
Vehicle Title: Clean Fuel Type: Gasoline
Exterior Color: Red Engine Description: 3.1L V6 CYLINDER
This is a collectible car at this stage of life
LOW MILES & Despite the age this MONTE CARLO is in Very Good Condition, Very Clean All Around
Some small imperfection exist as can be expected for a car this age
Equipped with: PREFERRED EQUIPMENT GROUP 1, CD Player, Leather Seats, Power Driver Seat & More!
Engine has no leaks, no strange noises, and transmission shifts smooth.
Nice Color combo: RED on TAN
Starts right up, runs and drives Excellent!
An Awesome, Rare MONTE CARLO to own and drive!!!
See a better way to drive something blandious? firstname.lastname@example.org
GM has no shame.
Definitely not worthy of the Monte Carlo name, but also not quite as ugly as the generation that followed (not an attribute to brag about). This should have been named what it was, a Lumina coupe. The switch to a FR layout for a Monte was a mistake.
I think there’s a market for a new Monte Carlo if GM would take a chance and get back to what made the original something special. Not every buyer looking for V8 power with style and luxury wants a Camaro… or an SUV. A new Monte could pick up near where the last Pontiac GTO (Holden) left off. There was potential in that market for GM before they decided to hold a pillow over Pontiac’s face until it stopped struggling for air.
Imagine a modern Monte Carlo with a bit of retro style going up against some of the V6/8 coupes from Europe (like the BMW 4 series, which could lead to a SS version to compete with the M4). A new Monte would have plenty of space to breathe in the GM lineup because it would be significantly different than the Camaro/Corvette offerings… until they decide to repeat past mistakes and badge engineer Cadillac and Buick versions.
I’d even be on board with reimagining the Monte Carlo as an electric if they kept to the vision of power and luxury over bland economy of the example advertised above.