The Future Was Yesterday: 2013 Tesla Model S 85

I’ve been dismissive of Teslas (and the electric car in general) not because the owners are wealthy, pompous, self-aggrandizing douchebags, but because they were foolishly expensive. And I get, the electric car is the future, and I’m not going to fight it, but I’m not going to pay more than it is worth because I need to keep up with the Joneses. Quite the opposite, I am going to wait until they are used and abused and get one for cheap, like this next thing. Or I will wait until this is salvaged a few times and get it for 1/2 this price. Not sure. Find this 2013 Tesla Model S offered for $26,000 in Huntington Beach, CA via craigslist.

From the seller:

2013 Tesla Model S 85
condition: excellent
cylinders: other
drive: rwd
fuel: electric
odometer: 121100
paint color: blue
size: full-size
title status: clean
transmission: automatic
type: sedan

2013 TESLA MODEL S 85. Dark blue exterior, cream leather interior. Looks great, drives great. Get a beautiful fast comfortable spacious state-of-the-art $100,000+ luxury car for $26,000, and demand is high. Kelly Blue Book for this car with this features is $22,150 – $27,035, and this car is at the top of that range. 121,100 miles. VERY GOOD condition (per Kelly Blue Book Standards). ORIGINAL OWNER. RUNS GREAT – incredible torque/acceleration. Quiet. Smooth. Quick. Fast. Comfortable. Beautiful. SPACIOUS rear seating, hatch back, under-hatch space, and frunk. Rear seats fold forward for huge rear space. CONSUMER REPORTS HIGHEST SAFETY RATING EVER AT 99/100. FREE SUPERCHARGING passes along with this car. Otherwise, you will be surprised how nice it is to not have to go to dirty homeless-ridden gas stations any more. CHARGE IN THE CONVENIENCE OF YOUR HOME/GARAGE for 1/3 the price of rising gas prices (if you can get gas at all in our Mad Max future). 21-INCH LOW PROFILE HIGH PERFORMANCE TURBINE WHEELS for superior look, performance, and handling. RANGE IS NO PROBLEM, as there are now Tesla Superchargers everywhere which show up on the large screen. Or, charge at any EV station. BATTERY LIFE/DISTANCE remains near original – rated 300 miles per charge, and gets about 200 miles per charge in real conditions, same as when new. SMOKED GLASS PANORAMIC ROOF WITH SUN ROOF. FREE WIFI, ONLINE RADIO, AND LIVE MAPS, on giant screen. GIANT SCREEN for all controls: A/C, AM, FM, INTERNET RADIO, BLUE TOOTH PHONE, MUSIC, CALENDAR. WHEELS/TREAD AND BRAKES in good condition. MEMORY SEATS with heat. EASY MAINTENANCE (if any) – no gas, no gas fumes or smell, no oil, no radiator fluid, no transmission or transmission fluid, no fans, belts or hoses, no alternator, no spark plugs, wires, no starter motor, no drive shaft, no muffler or exhaust, no spots on the driveway or garage floor, no more annual smog checks! EASY TO DRIVE – BATTERY-CONVERTER-ELECTRIC ENGINE, period. Instant acceleration with no gears or shifting. Even a woman can drive it. Car is 8 years old/121,100 miles, so has minor wear in the interior and minor dings on exterior and rims, but overall drives and looks great. JUST WASHED for the lucky new owner, and it looks amazing (making me fall in love with it all over again and wonder if I want to keep it.) Perfect car to put your miles on, free, while keeping mileage and gas costs down on your other inferior cars. Or, a great second luxury date night/impress your friends, neighbors, co-workers car, etc. Post it on FaceBook for your loser high school classmates. Get a $100,000 state-of-the-art, fast, beautiful, spacious, luxury car for $26,000. TELSA APP for controlling, monitoring, charging, location, lock/unlock, crack sun roof, software updates, etc. BOTH FOBS. CLEAR TITLE. ORIGINAL OWNER. NO ACCIDENTS. NO SMOKING. ALL ANNUAL SERVICES. INCLUDES CHARGING CABLES AND ADAPTERS. No warranty. As is, obviously. Car was loved and cared for, so it has no insecurity or rebellion issues. Local pickup only/no shipping or delivery. CASH ONLY.

See a better way to drive into the future?