Lets just say that it’s 1988, the Allanté and its annoying accent mark just came out some months back, and you just bought a Coupe DeVille about three weeks ago, like a sucker. Furthermore, you’re about $20k short and cowl shake is kinda your jam. You could’ve taken your vindictive nature and 600lb. penny jar straight to Coaches Unlimited in Florida and convinced you and the dumbest of your neighbors that you’ve built your dream car for half price, really. Find this custom 1988 Cadillac Coupe DeVille Convertible for sale in Greenville, SC for an ever exorbitant $9,995 via craigslist.
You want an Allanté to pick up big haired women in sequins? No, thank you. You want them thrifty and in Jordache jeans with a Christmas sweater, thank you very much. Anyone who gets in an Allanté should know that they’re paying for 2 first class cargo plane tickets to Turin. When you’re in a DeVille with the top hacked off by a bunch of crackheads in an un-air-conditioned Daytona Beach Quonset hut, you’re the one laughing – flying standby coach in the middle seat to Branson via Charlotte, Atlanta, and Chicago, eating your neighbor’s pack of peanuts while he’s sleeping. Saving cash and living the high life, yes sir.
So with an Allanté you get four-tenths of a liter more. To do what with? Waste gas and money gallivanting, that’s what. Every gallon that you pour down its thirsty aluminum gullet is a dollar that goes straight out of your vacation fund and into Saddam’s. No engine pictures are provided but we can only assume it’s the TBI 4.1, which the ostentatiously thrifty can respect. After all, you’re paying for a motor, not the engineering behind it. Head gasket replacement is like a pay-as-you-go plan for engine development, right?
See a better way to be pennywise and pound foolish? email us here: firstname.lastname@example.org