I’ve said this before, but I think it needs repeating — I’m not against progress. I think that stuff needs upgrading and technology is great…but the thing about the Corvette is that it was never a competitor to an actual Ferrari. It still isn’t…despite what the mainstream car fishwrap pundits might let you believe…because the Corvette was all about power…stupid, tire-roasting torque, and unlimited power. The Ferrari is Rey from the new Star Wars trilogy — gorgeous, overly powerful, lithe, graceful and sweet…but the Corvette is, and always will be Episode 3 Palpatine. Unlimited power and unnecessary cowls/scoops/hoods. Don’t fret…it’ll get worse because some day the Corvette will be an electric all-wheel-drive, self-steered, google-pod…but you don’t have to buy one of them, because you have this 1979 Chevrolet Corvette L82 offered for $9250 in Dothan, AL via craigslist. Tip from Ramjet.
Another day, another gull-wing door equipped fiberglass oddball on the front page of the DailyTurismo…because that is how we roll around here. This isn’t a place to take things to seriously, but I’m serious when I say that I’d never pay the princely sum of money needed to own the actual one-off Marcello Gandini of Gruppo Bertone designed Alfa Romeo Carabo…but I would consider owning a Fiberfab Aztec 7…because it brings some needed style to the oft neglected word “fab.” And fiber is good too. Find this 1977 Fiberfab Aztec 7 offered for $5,900 in Chino Hills, CA via craigslist. Tip from Rock On!
I burnt through a few brain cells trying to figure out what to call this next car. I know it was the product of a collaboration between Hurst Performance (company that invented the Jaws of Life) and Oldsmobile…but everybody on the internet just calls it the Hurst/Olds, which is not a proper name because this is technically the Oldsmobile Cutlass Calais Coupe (not Cutlass Ciera, that was a front drive pile o junk) with the Hurst/Olds option…so why the Olds name twice in the name? I don’t know and stop interupting me, I was just getting to the part why you should be interested in this car. The Lightning Rod shifters? Yes. We’ve all come to the conclusion that manual gearboxes are superior to autos, but sometimes an auto comes along that is to bizarrely complex that it becomes interesting. Keep reading. Find this 1984 Oldsmobile Cutlass Calais Hurst/Olds offered for $10,500 in Kunkletown, PA via craigslist. Tip from Rock On!
This next car has an interesting color. I thought it looks like the color looks like a classic rotary telephone or a beige known as cosmic latte…which is what scientists argue is the net average color of the universe if you combined all the photons coming in from visible galaxies. I thought this was a profound answer to this question until Kaibeezy told me this color reminded him of his grandma — who grew up in a very poor part of the universe where tea bags would be reused 3-4 times and tea would be mostly milk (sugar added when she immigrated to America and could afford such luxury) — so the correct color of this is “very milky tea.” Find this 1961 Buick Special Sedan offered for $8000 in Westside Los Angeles, CA (or Lake Arrowhead?) via craigslist.
This next car come as a tip from SecondMouse who writes: This car is a throwback to the days when most of the iron rolling out of Detroit had king mattress-sized hoods, got 9 miles to the gallon rolling downhill with a tail wind, and was about as nimble as a pregnant Yak. But the Europeans refused to make huge cars for sale in America, choosing sportiness and economy of operation instead, and the consumers were buying them, so the Big 3 were sticking their toes in the ‘cars smaller than Rhode Island’ water. The Valiant was one of the results. This example comes with the venerable Mopar 225 slant six and the amusing dash-mounted pushbutton automatic. It looks to be in good driver condition, pop-top and all. The enthusiastic seller is offering at $11,900 and ‘let’s talk’. Find this 1963 Plymouth Valiant in Sealy Texas via craigslist.
I’ll be the first to admit that there is an abundance of sketchy stuff and dodgy sellers on eBay. If they aren’t straight up scammers, then you’ve got people like the guys who show pictures of bikini clad ladies or regular classic car dealers who know how to polish a turd better than the assistant curator of the museum of scatology…but this next car is sold by a seller with the user name…wait for it…fiero-phil. Yup. This guy is the real-deal…and he is so confident in his real-deal-ness that he doesn’t even include a single word in the body of the ebay ad…and I still like it. Impressive. Find this 1990 Buick Reatta bidding for $1600 in Coventry, RI with 2 days to go via eBay.
We’re gonna take a quick trip down the rabbit hole of internet history here…way back to 2001…when Ford was trying to push their 1st generation Focus on Gen Xers. Naturally, they collaborated with MTV and renowned Detroit Techno artist DJ Bone and launched the (long defunct) website Focus247.com where you could mix your own techno beats…How could Ford have let this site fall into the digital abyss? You can see a little bit of what was archived by the Wayback machine here….but don’t expect to be able to mix your own beats because I couldn’t get any of the archived shockwave flash apps to work (arggg..I wanted to play DJ FU!). Anyway if you want a cheap 5-speed equipped car that was once marketed via MTV to a bunch of pimply faced Gen Xers around Y2K, you can drive this 2002 Ford Focus ZTS offered for $1990 in Santa Clara, CA via craigslist.
This next car had me confused for a few minutes. The seller lists it as a Pontiac 2+2…and there was a model of Poncho called the 2+2 that was a full sized Catalina based big brother to the GTO…but this mid eighties thing has some interesting NASCAR aero looks…which reminded me of a car that we had called the Aerocoupe in the past…but Pontiac didn’t use the Aerocoupe name (that was used on the Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS version) on their version of the custom aero nose, bubble glass back, and fiberglass trucklid with spoiler…they inexplicably called it the Grand Prix 2+2. Find this 1986 Pontiac Grand Prix 2+2 offered for $14,000 in Dayton, OH via craigslist. Tip from Jeff.
I really wish this next car had a name that was easier to pronounce and spell…because you are going to field a lot of questions from people asking exactly what you are driving. I’d go with a prototype Corvette from 1952 if you want to quickly get on with your shopping trip…or if you’ve got the afternoon you can tell them it is a fiberglass La Dwari body on a reinforced Henry J frame, powered by a ’49 Oldsmobile Rocket V8 running power into a Cadillac-La Salle 3-speed manual a Ford ’49 rear end…so on and so forth. I don’t think I have the time/patience to own this car. Find this 1960 La Dwari Conquest bidding for $8,200 reserve-not-met with 4 days to go, located in Alvaton, GA
This next car comes from tipper SecondMouse who writes: I confess I am not a Jeep person myself, but I know people who won’t drive anything else, and I can understand their appeal if you spend any time off road. Here is a pristine example complete with recent new engine and hardtop. I find it ironic that some many Jeeps are driven by poseurs (broseurs?) because the Jeep is such a non-poseur from an engineering/design/tech perspective — it is a big middle finger to progress. It’s body on frame with suspension derived from an ox-cart, has a pushrod engine that could be at home on a boat, the aerodynamics of a Windsor Castle, and seats taken from a stagecoach…and that goes for any Jeep made by Willys in 1940 to a Jeep made by Stellantis today. Haha Stellantis. I can’t stop laughing. Find this 1987 Jeep Wrangler Laredo 4.0 offered for $5500 in Richmond TX, a suburb of Houston via craigslist.