In the early 1970s the automotive world was reeling from the twin crises of new smog laws, safety laws, and increasing fuel prices…whoops, that’s three crises. Anyway, this meant that the performance of the late 1960s was gone and so Chrysler did what any reasonable domestic OEM would do…and that was the replace performance with slap-on gaudy cosmetic pieces of trim and pray that people didn’t realize that European and Japanese auto makers were building better product. What you see next is a resurrection of the Road Runner name on a Plymouth Volare, which was a rebadged Dodge Aspen. Find this 1977 Plymouth Volare Road Runner offered for $11,500 in Rockville Centre, NY via craigslist. Tip from Cory.
The 4th generation Dodge Monaco was a big malaise era equivalent of striped velour v-neck shirt. This thing reeks of chest carpets and overgrown man-hair held back by a tennis headband (see Bjorn Borg at Wimbledon in 1978 for reference in case you weren’t alive back then or lived under a rock)….and I love it. Find this 1978 Dodge Monaco offered for $9900 in Greenville, SC via craigslist.
This next car is a big piece of American iron built at the height of the malaise era that is mostly known for donating its rear brakes to customized 60s Mustangs and being the first production car to offer clearcoat paint. If you are a DT regular, you might also know the Versailles from the time you spent in your local junk yard back in the 90s. Fortunately, today’s example is about as far from the typical Versailles sitting on cinder blocks at Billy’s Pick-n-Pull and looks (from the single photo provided by the seller) to be in premium shape. Find this 1978 Lincoln Versailles offered for $10,000 in Atchison, KS via hemmings. Tip from BP.
In a strange coincidence, we got a handful of tips for some nice Fox body cars from various tippers this weekend, so I’m feeling it’s time for a Foxy Friday Feature…oh…wait…it is Monday. Foxy Monday works too. What does that mean? You won’t see any El Caminos on the pages of Daily Turismo today, unless they are on a Fox Body Platform which from 1977 through 1993 had a MacPherson strut up front and live stick-beam axle out back and was the home of Ford’s Fairmont, Durango, Granada, LTD, Mustang, Thunderbird, and Mercury’s Zephyr, Cougar, Marquis, Capri, and Lincoln’s Continental, Mark VII. This first feature of our Foxy Monday is a Fairmont which was the first Ford vehicle to sit on the unibody Fox platform and this version is the sweet Futura version that had a bizarrely large wrap-over B-Pillar that was reminiscent of the similar vintage Thunderbird but without opera windows. Strange times for automotive design, but I think it looks cool today. Find this 1979 Ford Fairmont Futura offered for $8000 in Fontana, CA via craigslist. Tip from Rock On!
I wouldn’t normally recommend you own and daily drive a big malaise era boat, but in these times of working from home and covid-traffic, it might be the only chance. On the days that this things decides to not start up, you just call in and work from home. Worry about overheating that old low compression hunk of iron in stop-and-go traffic…not a concern, traffic is light, you’ll be fine. So get a machining white/red mask, drive a classic, and take advantage of the odd times we live in before everything is back to normal and the pod-mobile can wait. Find this 1977 Pontiac Grand Prix offered for $9,800 in Palm Desert, CA via craigslist. Tip from Rock On!
I’m not one to shout and scream about saving all of those horrible malaise era cars…but I gotta say that this next one hit me like one of those commercials where people show video montages of poor and neglected animals/kids (why aren’t you helping them instead of video taping their misery..?). Somebody has to save this old Lincoln from the snowy crashes and rust-filled future it has ahead of it in the Commonweath of Pennsyltucky. This gold moonroof optioned beast needs a garage and/or a temperate climate to survive into the 22nd Century. Find this 1977 Lincoln Mark V offered for $6,500 in Quakertown, PA via craigslist. Tip from Cory.
You guys are good at finding the best terrible cars for sale on the internet, but I have to come clean and admit that even though tipper Matt wrote; Caution – this link contains graphic images of a truly hideous paint job…’70s Cadillac Seville appears to be the offspring of a Stutz revival and a bass boat… Regardless, I shrieked when I opened the link. The technical term from the turbocharger noise and vibration industry is kreischen, which is a German word for a screech/squeal/squawk when a turbocharger’s ported shroud isn’t designed correctly, but I digress. This car. Wow. It is really something else. Find this 1979 Cadillac SeVille Opera Coupe offered for $15,995 in Concord, NC via mercado de libros-caras.
Dr Henry Jekyll: I love this next car, it is so well preserved for a Chrysler Imperial. Mr Ed Hyde: Ugg, 24k miles. Frankly I’m shocked that anyone could stand this miserable pile of Chrysler K-Platform junk for 24 miles, much less 24,000. Dr Jekyll; Hold up there old chap, this car has a wicked sweet chrome grill and functioning pop-up headlights, and the burgundy interior is as delightful as a trip down Dean Street in London. Mr Hyde: You must be mad, somebody paid the equivalent of $50k in today’s money for this pile of slushbox shifted 147 horsepower V6 garbage and I’d pay that much to NOT drive it. Find this 1990 Chrysler Imperial offered for $4,995 in Fairfield, CA via craigslist. Tip from FuelTruck.
Tipper Rock On sent in a nice 11th generation Eldorado for $15k so that we could continue collecting our set of Eldos (’98 here, ’67 here) , but that is expensive and I wanted something closer to…I dunno…$3k. So I found a 10th generation Eldorado, which is only a few years older, but looks way ancient because of the non-painted/integrated bumpers and wire wheel covers. But, the price is right and the paint is a sweet shade of pan fried livermush or scrapple. I love it! Find this 1985 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz offered for $2,999 in Duluth, MN via craigslist.
This next car isn’t the perfect little old lady driven classic in mint condition that you dream about…and it does have some rust and dings and missing trim. It also has the remains of an RV towing mount, which means it probably logged some miles being towed through who-knows-what kind of environment. That is probably why, despite wearing vintage 1981 Cali Sunset plates, it has some significant surface rust. However, you don’t find driver condition Civics with manual gearboxes just sitting around at this price…so I give it a cautious one thumb up. Find this 1981 Honda Civic 1500GL offered for $4000 in Palmdale, CA via craigslist.