Spinning Yarn: 1991 Volvo 240 Wagon

Most Craigslist ads purposely gloss over a car’s warts and short comings.  Honesty is a rare thing to find in any car for sale listing. Today’s Volvo brick wagon seller takes things to a whole new level by actually waxing poetically about all of the car’s faults, the scary predicaments the car has put him in driving it, and his own role in it’s decrepit condition.  All in all, it makes for a mildly interesting read, but the frightening pictures of the car make those words really come to life.  Find this 1991 Volvo 240 wagon for sale in Townsend, MA for $1,500 via craigslist.

It is best to leave things in the seller’s own words:

Welcome craigslistians!

Step on up for a slice of automotive excellence! Many weirdos hold this
car in such high regard, it would make you question the rest of their
life choices.

“Is this car as reliable as they say?”

No! Not a chance, it’s a 30 year old hunk of metal and original rubber.
Sure the motor runs great and the transmission shifts fine, but every
part that isn’t metal has disintegrated into small enough bits that you
could mistake them for that fancy cheese you put on your silly
“artisinal” tacos.

“But they’re so much fun!”

Absolutely, especially if you enjoy have something in the REAR end lock
up on 495 when it’s 7 degrees out. Oh and most of the suspension is
original and this car has lived it’s ENTIRE life in New Hampshire, so
yes, there is some rust although it’s nothing like those crappy plow
jeeps floating around trying to swindle you into paying 60 damn dollars
to plow you one spot parking space driveway. No rot.

“There’s nothing safer than an old volvo!”

Keep smoking that crappy weed. The first fender bender you get into with
“I need to speak to the manager” Susan driving her 3.2 kids to “sports”
practice in one of those new age “crossovers”, which we all know are
just tall ass wagons that have been dulled down to match all the ativan
she downs “just to make it to brunch mimosas”, you’ll realise that the
car is junk and you will feel every bit of that 2 ton missile slam into
you with your cruddy “airbag” the size of a small chaise lounge goes off
an your insurance chuckles as the write the whole thing off for a fat
$500.

Can you guys handle the truth???  Yeah, hit me!

Straight up? This car is hysterical fun and actually has been a hoot. On
my drive home with it one of the brake lines blew out. Fixed that.
While bleeding the brakes later a caliper seized. New ones all around.
Driving to work, rear diff started making horrendous noise and came to a
full stop, in the high speed lane, of 495. Car cooled down, limped to
work, parked it. Finally mustered up the courage to tackle a new rear
end, found out the drivers side rear lug studs are trash and one is now
missing, or rather sheared out completely. Towed this heap home and now
the starter dies, just my god damn luck.

Interior is ok, drivers seat is junk, center console is gone, radio is
MIA, heater fan does not blow, speedometer doesn’t work and odometer
stopped at 165k, which was sometime in 2015, which was 2 years before I
bought it.

They sum things up here:

 So I’ve had enough “fun” with it. My laziness is your gain, Through me a
decent offer and come get it. There’s some extra stuff with it: random
wheel/tires, fuses, switches, extra wiper motor and a decent handshake
for being the one to take it away.

TLDR: crappy project Volvo needs new home, must be kept outside, not housebroken.

See another mildly entertaining Swedish car for sale listing? email tips@dailyturismo.com

Cory is going to be helping his friend reinstall a headliner on a 1994 E500 over the weekend.