“Honey, I can explain. The car that’s about to do a piledriver on our checking account could really be worth a lot someday. I know it looks like a worthless 30-year-old Dodge crapbox but trust me, because it has compressed air shoved through it and a bunch of SHELBY badges slapped on it, it’s a legend. Please don’t tell your mother. Thanks, I love you too.” Find this 1986 Dodge Omni GLH-S in Omaha, NE for $12,000 via Autotrader.
“Look, this was the spiritual successor to the Neon SRT-4, Dodge’s first real performance compact after sleeping through the sport compact car craze. I shouldn’t need to explain to you why that’s important. Just like you shouldn’t expect to use this Shelby’s hatchback for hauling things if you want it to retain its value. Also, the kids probably shouldn’t ride in the backseat. Safety wasn’t a priority for Dodge until… well maybe I shouldn’t finish that sentence. Oh and I’ll still keep the other car for track events. Too risky to use this one.”
“But don’t worry – it won’t take up garage space. The previous owner let the paint fade so we can keep it uncovered, right in front of the house. See? I was thinking about you. By the way, I’ll need a few more thousand for paint and new-old-stock decals.”
“Oh and I’m buying a second one for only $500 to use for parts.”
See an obscure Shelby-breathed turbo crap box in better condition? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This post is part of Daily Turismo’s 2nd Birthday Celebration —DT’s ABCs.
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