Gold Digger Repellent: 2004 Pontiac Bonneville

Craigslist definitely is the proverbial box of chocolates.  Today’s feature proves this point beyond a shadow of a doubt by solving a problem that DT readers very likely did not know existed.  Is your ride too nice and providing bait for gold diggers to drain your fortune?  Our seller thinks he has just the solution for the problem with his cheap and reliable, but ugly H platform Bonneville.  Find this 2004 Pontiac Bonneville for sale in Oxford, MI for $950 via craigslist.

Very amusing and copious details from the seller:

Are you having problems avoiding gold diggers in your quest to find the right guy or girl? When you show up to your first day in your flashy ride, how can you trust that the other person is into you or just your cash?
Have I got a solution for you! It’s a 2004 Pontiac Bonneville SE(Special Edition!), that’s rusty but trusty. Starts right up everytime, but might shut down that gold diggers plans before they get started, saving you months of wasted time on dating the wrong person! I found a girl whos not interested in my money, or more likely, my lack of it and Im ready to pass on this jewel.
Has the formidable 3800 V6 engine, if you don’t know just how reliable these engines can be, I can pass along my dads phone number. Hes a retired Buick employee with too much time on his hands and he’ll be happy to give you the ins and outs of all the amazing 3800 engined cars he’s owned. If you want Dads Cliffs Notes let me sum it up for you, these engines are “reliable as shit.” That’s straight from the horses mouth, and I wouldnt usually take a horses advice about cars, but in this case, he’d be right.

Maybe you want your kid to build some character by driving an ugly car to school for a year like we had to, or maybe you just need to look broke when you show up to divorce court.

My point is the car will get you from A-B and maybe C, if you’re a good person, at least go to church on Easter, and eat your vegetables.

Im expecting a bidding war with this one, so please don’t waste my time, and only bring your best and highest offer to the table.

Heres the specs: 190,000 miles.
Free bonus Ziploc bag of spare spark plugs(thanks Dad).
More air conditioning vents than you could ever possibly imagine, even though the aircon doesn’t work.
Working radio but no display, believe me, the surprise of when you find a good channel without knowing what’s coming is well worth the asking price.
Don’t forget SPECIAL EDITION.
Tires.
Brakes.
Interior in great shape.
Fairly solid besides the gas filler door rust area these all have.
Various dents, large and small.
If the honeycomb inside the headlight manages to produce any honey, you’re welcome, that’s a freebie.

A case could be made that the GM 3800 V6 is the modern day equivalent to the Chrysler slant 6 of years gone by.   All versions (series 1, series 2, and supercharged) of these engines seem to rack up tons of miles with a minimal amount of upkeep.  Is there another American engine that is more durable than the 3800?

See another car that is the opposite of Pretty Woman? email tips@dailyturismo.com