I’m really not a big fan of commercials. Nobody is, really. But I’m on the spam email list for various automotive OEMs because I enjoy seeing some of the new models and drooling over the stuff that I’ll buy in 10 years with 4 flat tires from a guy named Igor. Most of the electronic brochures involve a few photos of the cars and maybe an article about some piece of arcane technology, but I got one from BMW the other day with a subject that read: Score a trip for two, Kate Upton in action, and more. Wait…whut? I’m not one to click on click-bait, but I don’t want to miss out on some social media phenomenon and be the only guy at the water cool who hasn’t scored a trip for two or seen Kate Upton in action, so I figure what the heck, I’ll click on that. Plus, this is from BMW corporate, so its not gonna be a swimsuit calendar or something PG-13…right?
The link in the email goes to a golfdigest.com video series that is titled “The Getaway; 1 Season, 7 Episodes.” Oohhh, I wonder if the next season will get picked up by Netflix? My curiosity gets the better of reason and I start watching Episode 1; Santa Barbara — Kate and some dude named Justin (who I can only assume is her chauffeur or agent or pimp…there really isn’t much chemistry between the two) start with a drive in a BMW M760i down the California coast. It all seems like a legit and boring BMW advertisement until Kate puts on a pair of lululemon yoga pants with fitted top and starts hitting tennis balls? Subtle, BMW. Well played too.
The first video is fairly tame, but in Episode 2; Paso Robles, we get to reason for this “season” — because now Kate is riding on a horse. Yes, the oldest trick in the sales book — if you are selling a car, put someone on a horse in your advertisement…and then we get the slow motion trotting scene. Okay BMW. Not so subtle anymore. Extremely well played.
The remainder of the season is more of the same — Kate and Justin drive around in their BMW, eat a bunch of food, play sports, cook some food, wear buncha different outfits, and viewers wonder if that is a mole or a hunk of guacamole on her face…actually, that tick sized thing on her face is probably insured for more than my Roadmaster.
In the end, what we get is a couple of rich folks wandering around rich folks haunts and solving first world problems in a matte black BMW that costs more than the average home in Idaho. The biggest let down is that Episode 6 is a “recap” and Episode 7 is “behind the scenes” — what the vanos folks? Did you run out of horses, couldn’t you get them in a pogo stick factory, churning butter, using a jackhammer, snaking out a septic tank, or driving in a vintage BMW without sophisticated road perturbation absorbing damper technology? I’m going to admit that I wasted a good 20 minutes or more watching BMW product placement, but I can say it was research for this article. What’s your excuse?