Coffee Brake: Feeling Gassy

Welcome to DT’s weekly editorial column, where the stiff upper lip and starched shirt atmosphere that pervades the rest of our articles is relaxed and we discuss topics in a casual manner.  Put on your favorite sweatpants, grab a box of Cracklin’ Oat Bran, (mmm, love that stuff, good for your spleen too) and enjoy. Today’s topic du jour for today’s Coffee Brake: Gas is so damn cheap that I want to buy a 700 cubic inch V8 and just let it idle outside my house all day. Later, I’ll take a warm bath in a tub full of crude.  What do you want to do with all this cheap gas?

Personally, I’d love to buy this 1967 Buick Skylark Sedan and use it as God (and Buick) intended when it left the factory — as a daily driver, errand runner, air darkener, and family hauler.  It is an extremely clean car with an (original?) blue paint job and blue interior that looks way too nice for the $7,700 asking price.  Based on a quick mathematical analysis of fuel costs, if you compare this to a used $15k Prius, it would take you 157 years to pay off the Prii cost increase with its fuel savings.  That is 157 years I don’t have, so make sure you are never more than 5 miles away from a gas station and give me the Buick!

Sure, the big block would suck down more of Saudi Arabi’s finest black gold, but the 340 cubic inch V8 under the hood (that is inexplicably painted from its original Buick red to a Chevy orange) will still drink the good stuff like Keith Richards before a big show.  This small cube engine might not have the instantaneous flow rate of the Bill “The Fox” Foxster big block, but the sheer mass of the 4-door Skylark will mean you’ve got the pedal mashed to the carpet for 80% of your drive cycle. 

Just look at how nice the interior is!!  What would you buy if gas was going to stay this cheap forever?