5k: Obey The Headlight: 1982 Subaru GL Wagon

In the world of vehicles equipped with hidden headlamps (and that is indeed a strange and magnificent world) few match the sheer brazen magnificence of the Subaru GL’s cyclops middle headlight.  The Leone may not have been a lion on the street, but that wacky third headlight hidden under the Seven Sisters makes it king of the urban jungle.  Find this 1982 Subaru GL Wagon offered here on eBay for $5,300 buy-it-now located in Staten Island, NY from Roverclassic.

Even the most die-hard Subaru fanboys will admit that these GLs are pretty terrible cars.  Rugged, sure.  Durable, maybe.  But they are catastrophically slow (73ish horsepower), numb in the turns, noisier at speed than a giant sardine can filled with fighting lobsters, and covered from the factory in the nastiest shades of baby effluent — or silver/white/grey if you are lucky.  I know, I know, some GL owner is going to pop up in the comments saying how great these cars were and how he drove one on a trip to visit his long distance college girlfriend – blah blah blah.  Hey buddy, there is a reason you don’t ride either any more, the Subaru was a pile of crap and she was a slut who shacked up with the starting line of the Hockey team (and it wasn’t even a division one team man!).  Get over it.  1982 is long gone and just about the cheapest new car in the show room is 10,000 times better, safer, and faster than this car.  You could buy something in the Big Wheels section of Toys R Us that is safer in a 5mph crash — hey…what is that thing….

LOOK AT THE HEADLIGHT.   OBEY THE HEADLIGHT. LOVE THE HEADLIGHT. THE HEADLIGHT WILL TORMENT YOU IN YOUR DREAMS TONIGHT FOR SAYING BAD THINGS ABOUT THE GL.  YOU WILL PAY. ALL WHO READ THIS MUST FORWARD TO 10 FRIENDS OR THE HEADLIGHT WILL EAT YOU. 

Somebody, please, save me from the headlight.  tips@dailyturismo.com