A long time ago, in an alternate dimension, a young Bruce Wayne is orphaned. His parent’s wealth is soon depleted by a drunken Alfred’s gambling spree and young Bruce is cast into the abyss of foster care. He is a nice kid and soon enough adopted by Mama June and Honey Bear of Honey Boo Boo fame. Hours turn to years and Bruce’s anger towards the world is not tempered. He eventually works enough part time hours at the local Walmart to build his first Batmobile. Here it is. Find this 1966 Fiberfab Banshee here on eBay currently bidding for $6,200 with a few days to go, located in Warren, MI.
“Little Brucie, it’s time fo dinner.” Mama June’s shrill falsetto pierced the chilly evening air like the bolt from a crossbow. “These door pulls will double as grappling hooks” muttered the future crime fighter under his breath. “BRUCIE. Spaghettios is gettin cold.” “Bite your tongue evil harpie” growled Batman from under the red beast. “What’d you just say BOY?” “Nothing, Mama June, nothing.”
Batman popped the hood and examined the Ford 289 cubic inch V8. “Air cleaner is way too small, gonna need to get Luke Fox to make a bigger one at the Gotham High School auto shop.” “BRUCIE, Honey Boo Boo is eye’n yer dinner, best hurry up.” Bruce admires the craftsmanship of the Banshee mounted on what is claimed to be an Austin-Healey 100-6. “I’ll be there in a minute…to eat the dinner I need, not the dinner I deserve” he grumbles.
Bruce lifts the gullwing style door and checks out the dilapidated interior. That old Budweiser box might make some decent body armor if sew it into the remnants of this headliner… “BRUCIE, git the plunger from the shed. THE BIG PLUNGER. Honey Bear done eat’d himself a bur-eee-to at lunch today an he’s looking mighty green!” “Yes Mama June.” As soon as I get the BatMobile together, I’m outta here.
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