5k: Canted Angles Sell Cars: 1997 Mitsubishi Eclipse, VR4 swap

It’s well known that angular shots add movement and excitement to the subject being photographed. Too many canted (or Dutch) angles on a horizontal subject like a car become like KFC’s departed Double Down sandwich: too much of a good thing that just becomes nauseating. Perhaps this Eclipse’s seller wants to convey the awesomeness of his ride, and angled shots are cheaper than staging exploding tanker trucks behind it. Or, it’s to show that driving a twin-turbo V6 swapped all-wheel-drive Eclipse will forever alter the driver’s orientation of reality. Either way, the effect is strangely hypnotic… maybe the technique works after all. Find this 1997 Mitsubishi Eclipse GS with VR4 swap in Tampa, FL for $5,500 via craigslist.

I mean, I literally can’t stay awake because of how boring this picture is.

Stock 3000GT VR4s came with 300 horsepower. This one has a believable 340 with 328 ft-lbs of torque thanks to breather modifications and Megasquirt standalone engine management. The 4G63 powering Eclipse GSXs and the like only mustered 210 horsepower, and the little 2-liter units in naturally aspirated versions (what this Eclipse once was) were only good for 140. Supplementary shots show it hardparked in the grass, parking lots, and streets, usually with a crowd of peers. The scene resembles an ad for Nike, or an energy drink, or Adderall. Watch how a slight angle energizes an otherwise mundane landscape scene.

“I concur, Brody. Low-profile tires indeed contribute to the vehicle’s visual appeal, but may have an adverse affect on ride quality.”

How to weed out a bad seller: Use of “lowering springs.” They either don’t know the brand or are too ashamed to admit to buying Chinese suspension parts from eBay. Referring to them as “lowering springs” also reveals the seller’s superficial motives, as springs bought for aesthetic purposes give little to no attention to handling and ride quality.

Good luck hunting for an elusive vacuum leak in an engine bay not meant for a behemoth, transverse-mounted, twin-turbo, DOHC V6. It lacks air conditioning, but more importantly, power steering. Wheeling a 3,500-pound car – most of it up front – in an unassisted rack will get you Popeye arms with or without a spinach diet. Maybe the turbos will muffle the otherwise unrestricted exhaust, although they won’t quell the headache-inducing tsu of a Greddy blow-off valve every time you muscle the stage 3 racing clutch (the “ludicrous speed” of clutch stiffness) to the floor. Look, this thing wasn’t built for the long haul. As for attracting adolescent males, however, it’s hard to beat. Monster Energy drink sold separately.

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PhiLOL actually likes the tuna here, but abhors structural rust. Save the manuals.