1k: I’d Rather Take The Bus: 1984 Oldsmobile Firenza Wagon Horrorod
As Halloween approaches we continue to search for horrorods and this one will certainly raise the little hairs on the back of your neck. This wild looking beast started out as a simple and slow Oldsmobile Firenza J-body, sharing a platform with the Buick Skylark, Cadillac Cimarron, Chevy Cavalier and Pontiac Sunbird…humble beginnings indeed. Somewhere along the line it has been converted into a hot rod, with a huge hood scoop, side pipes, a two-tone paint job, ultra-wide rear tires…except that it is still driven by a stock front drive automatic transmission equipped engine and everything is just for looks. Worst…car…ever. Find this 1984 Oldsmobile Firenza wagon for sale in Murray, KY for $1,135 via ebay.
Now, before you start thinking to yourself, maybe, just maybe, this isn’t so bad and you could drive it around as a frugal daily driver, let’s get to some more of the seller’s details. As previously mentioned, the hood scoop/blower is just for looks and the drag slicks aren’t connect to the engine, but that doesn’t really matter because it doesn’t run. Per the seller, its probably just a relay, starter or neutral safety switch. Good news continues, and the car’s title is salvaged, but that also doesn’t matter because the seller can’t find the title and it is sold with a bill of sale only. Sellers final comments are: “car in good to very good shape. needs minor work. gets lots of looks on road.”
My thoughts are summarized well here:
See a better horrorod? Okay…anything is better than this thing…seriously. tips@dailyturismo.com
This car meets the Horrorod criteria in my book. My sister and I were forced to share an 84 Firenza Wagon in high school and college. Ours had wood grain paneling decals and was a total POS. It had an appetite for ignition modules and would always need a new one whenever it was 10 below zero outside. Yes, this car is the stuff of nightmares.
I'd drive it just for the looks of utter disdain you would get from people. Grow a mullet, crank up the Skynyrd then head to the "Gold Coast" of Connecticut….sounds like a plan….
Given a choice of being seen in this or a Prius, I'd take the Prius! (trust me – that's a big deal coming from me!)
"free" is too much to pay for this mess. ….but to each their own….I bet many movie car builders started this way. And don't get me started on tire squealing sounds in dirt ! …oops too late