• Its humor, or humour if you are from Canada. Never understood why people paid more for a rebadged Honda Civic but I guess the marketing folks knew what they were doing. Happy belated Boxing Day. This is the day where we get rid of all the boxes left over from Christmas. Or what you have to do to score the last big screen TV at Walmart.

    • +1 And also everyone's favorite/ favourite that happens even before you score the big screen. The two hungover dads brawling for the last parking spot. "Here honey hold my smokes and drink, I have to tune up Festus here, his Hyundai Pony is blocking our spot"

  • Twas the night before canadian christmas,
    and all through le chateau,
    not a creature was stirring,
    not even Justin Trudeau.

    The children were nestled,
    all snug in their rooms,
    with visions in their minds,
    of something that zooms.

    With ma in her kerchief,
    and I in my toque,
    we'd just settled in
    to read a good book.

    When there was a large clatter
    out in the rue
    My wife turned to me and said,
    if it's not Rene-Michel, then who?

    I went to the window
    to see what was going on,
    And to my surprise,
    there was a Pontiac Parisienne out on the lawn

    And walking from it
    all calm and acting routine
    Was a jolly fat man
    with a foil plate of poutine.

    He came to the door
    and pounded on it twice.
    I was reluctant to answer
    but it was cold, so I decided to be nice.

    He asked for something to drink
    while staring slack-eyed at our door wreath
    I said okay and went to the refrigerator
    to retrieve a bottle from Alexander Keith.

    The jolly man lumbered
    back to his 80s whip
    And bade me salut
    As he set off on his latest trip.

    I returned to the warmth
    of the feather-down duvet
    And said to myself that
    there had to be another way.

    When the children woke
    They did not believe my incredible tale
    Of our canadian christmas
    beer fire sale.

  • This is a masterpiece.

    As a Canadian living in California, I'm frequently surprised to learn that experiences of my youth were not universal in the US. For example, today I discovered that feather-down duvets from Daniadown, which were a legitimately awesome xmas present to receive as a kid, were a Canada-only thing. Do you Americans even know about the magic of down duvets? Come to think of it, given that it's a French word, do you even have duvets??? Or are they like toques, where you call them something totally bizarre (beanies, wtf)? Other uniquely Canadian things I've been caught off guard by: Smarties, Caramilk, Mr. Dressup, Ketchup Chips, bags of milk, Bloody Caesars. Who knew?

    And, while we do have many things to be proud of (Shatner, the maple syrup cartel, The Hip, Rob Ford), the beer strength matter is a misunderstanding: Canadian beer vs. American beer: The alcohol content battle

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