• If that won't get him to the chimney on time, something like this ought to have the legs he needs:


    And if he needs something a little specialized to get in and out of dodgy neighborhoods, one of these might do the job with appropriate cargo pods:


    • The Cobra Gunship is a winner. Need to find an aftermarket set of whisper quiet fan blades and you can land on rooftops without waking the occupants. Just be quick in/out of the chimney because the ground effect can make your chopper crash.

  • In the small town where I live there is a guy who keeps the santa look going all year round. He wears "normal" clothes though, but I've even heard kids in the grocery store during July saying "look mom it's santa!" He drives a PT cruiser with the side profile of a sleigh done in vinyl on the side. Now I hate PT's with a passion, but in this application it actually works. Wish I had a photo to share.

    • Mrs. Claus won't be caught dead in that. Seller has the same problem with his missus.

      But then again, so many things have changed since I was a kid, maybe Mrs. Claus has that Cherry Bomb logo inked as a tramp stamp on her lower back, so who the hell knows. Maybe you did find it, AD.

    • Yes, as with the blue/silver wizard wagon above, purchase of this vehicle should automatically enroll the buyer into a sex offender watch list.

  • I think Santa would appreciate something with enough room to pack in all the presents… and maybe even have extra room for a pit crew of elves. How about this thing…


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