5k: Zombie Proof: 1996 Mercedes-Benz S500 W140; S-Guard Bullet ProofWindows

If you are on the look out for a stealthy V8 powered post apocalypse survival vehicle for less than 5 grand, look no further!  Most of the survival vehicles we find look like tanks and would draw a considerable amount of attention from hungry zombies or (probably worse) folks trying to keep their brains from being made into a breakfast zombielet.  Find this 1996 Mercedes-Benz S500 (or S420) with bullet proof windows for sale in Lincoln, NE for $3,900 via craigslist.  Tip from Andy L.

The W140 chassis Mercedes-Benz was available with a factory installed bullet proof glass option, called S-Guard…or this could be the work of an aftermarket company.  Regardless, this big Benz is powered by a …well…V8…you see the seller doesn’t include the basics in his description, like model number that would let us know which of the available V8s will keep you free from being a contestant on “Who Wants to Eat a Millionaire’s Brain.”

Of course, zombie Regis Philbin will be the host:

“Is that your final answer?”

“BRAIN…”

“Uhhhh”

“BRAIN!!”

“Okay, computer, lock in Brain, final answer.”

 <dramatic music, camera zoom/pan and light flicker..dan, don, daaaaa….>

“Congratulations, Freddie, I’ve got good news for you…you are going to the Buffet tonight!!!  The correct answer is brain and you are going to feast on Warren Buffet medulla marinara tonight!”

<crowd goes wild.>

“Regis, help me, you can’t do this…I’ll give you anything, controlling interest of Berkshire Hathaway, anything, the city of Omaha? The entire state of Nebraska!?!?!”

“Sorry man, I’ve been one of them for years.  Freddie, the Buffet is now open…monogrammed bib?”

The most painful part about this craigslist ad is the total lack of information, and we highly recommend that you bring a friend along for any test drives of this Merc, not because the seller is likely to be a danger, but because the lack of info, and bullet proof windows leads us to consider the possibility that a third party may not like the seller and you would be collateral damage.  Keep your guts where they belong by always being careful when meeting strangers and buying cars.  This car might belong to Regis Philbin….

See a better bullet proof benz? email us here: tips@dailyturismo.com