Regular readers may have caught on that we at the Daily Turismo love useful utility vehciles just as much as a good drift circuit ready hoon-mobile. We don’t much care for hybrids of utility and sportiness as they tend to be too much of a compromise and deliver neither. As a result we tend to have driveways cluttered with partially running projects, our insurance agent on speed dial and our wives all wound up about the latest car purchase – but that is a story for another day. Today’s feature is a car designed to protect the wife and family in case of societal meltdown, be it via natural disaster, thermonuclear war or zombie invasion. This 1998 Ford E350 Clubwagon is for sale for an optimistic buy it now price of $22,600 in Houston Texas via ebay and survivalvans.com, and the age old adage of never judge of book by its cover strongly applies to this one.
What looks like a plain-jane E350 Clubwagon with double doors on the passenger side is actually a fully outfitted survival van. Thats right, its got enough food and junk inside to supposedly last a family of 4 for “years.” The seller puts no specific duration of survival capability, probably because he understands that un-refrigerated mayonnaise won’t last for more than a few days.
A quick inspection of the ClubWagon’s contents exposes the buyer to a stunning array of goods – starting with an 8 kilowatt generator and ending with 260 page book of survival training…more on that later.
The ebay ad shows bucket after bucket filled with canned goods, chili, Vienna sausages, spam, green beans…whoa, if its a gas attack you are fleeing, don’t come into this van! Included is also a bottle of laundry detergent – which doesn’t really match with the 50 year supply of iodized salt – we think that if you are living in a van surrounded by post-apocalyptic wasteland the smell of your dirty laundry for the first two weeks isn’t going to be a deal breaker. We’d swap that for something useful, like a lifetime supply of flint and steel.
The icing on this survival van layer cake has got to be the 260+ page book of survival training, including tips on how to drink your own urine (quickly!), how to preserve store and trade seeds and time to kill -how to kill a man with your bare hands…but the base is surely “Bartering — How to Barter with Desperate People”…Take note, if the apocalypse occurs don’t stop to help anybody in a white unmarked ClubWagon, they will probably kill, skin, eat and barter your hide for some salt.
See another survival special for sale? email us here: firstname.lastname@example.org